


The Mistletoe Conspiracy (The Mistletoe Madness Remix)

by Elveatas (Ricecake)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Kissing, M/M, Magic, Mistletoe, Modern Royalty, Pining, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ricecake/pseuds/Elveatas
Summary: As a prank, Morgana has put up enchanted mistletoe all over the castle, which traps whoever steps beneath one until they've been kissed by their true love. As such, Arthur has memorised every single location of mistletoe to avoid being trapped and having to confess his inappropriate love for his assistant, Merlin.And his vigilance pays off; he doesn’t get caught even once.But Merlin does, which is worse.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 489
Collections: Camelot Remix 2020





	The Mistletoe Conspiracy (The Mistletoe Madness Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SlantedKnitting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlantedKnitting/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Mistletoe Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21551278) by [SlantedKnitting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlantedKnitting/pseuds/SlantedKnitting). 



> A giant and heartfelt thank you to the mods who were so lovely and lenient with me when I was trapped beneath a mountain of schoolwork.
> 
> To SlantedKnitting, I really enjoyed remixing this fic, and I hope you will enjoy reading my take on it as well.
> 
> Also, yes, I am remixing a Christmas fic in the middle of summer. Watch how many fucks I give ;)

The problem with having a magical sister who was also a princess, thus didn’t have much else to do other than look good and do some charity, was that she often used her magic for less than serious purposes. Such as pranks.

For her latest prank, she had put up enchanted mistletoe all over the palace and whoever stepped beneath them got stuck in place until they had received a kiss from their true love. As most of the palace staff were involved with each other, it wasn’t much of a problem, but there had been a few times where a poor soul had been trapped until their significant other, who wasn’t working at the palace, could drive all the way across town to come free their beloved, then drive all the way back to their job. When that happened, Arthur took the time to write and sign an official apology on behalf of the crown they could give to their boss as a peace offering.

At first, Arthur had complained about the mistletoe to the Lord Chamberlain, but he had insisted it was merely boosting morale and Yule spirit among the staff.

When he’d taken the complaint to his father, the king – and supposedly the one person who could put a stop to it aside from Morgana herself – he had looked at Arthur over the top of his newspaper and asked him if he was afraid he was going to be stuck beneath a mistletoe. After all, only people who were in love with someone got trapped by the spell. There had been laughter in his eyes, and Arthur just _knew_ he was in on it, that bastard! Oh, the press would have a field day if they found out the usually stern king had been hit by Yule spirit.

The sad truth was that Arthur was indeed afraid he was going to get caught beneath the enchanted mistletoe. If that happened, he’d have no choice but to admit to Merlin, his assistant, that he was absolutely, _hopelessly_ in love with him. And as there was no way Merlin returned his feelings, in fact, Arthur seemed to remember he was dating one of the cleaners, he could not let it happen. Even if Arthur knew Merlin was too good of a person to lord it over him, he wouldn’t be able to stand the pitying looks Merlin would send his way, and there was also the significant detail that as his boss, Artur was in a position of power over him, and Merlin might feel obligated to— No, Arthur knew him too well for that; Merlin would never do that. But he might decide things would be too awkward and apply for a position somewhere else in the castle or for a completely different job at a completely different workplace. And Arthur couldn’t even bear the thought of that. He’d rather keep his feelings secret if it meant having Merlin still in his life.

As such, Arthur memorised every single location of the enchanted mistletoe, and he’d developed a habit of always looking up in case Morgana should have gotten the splendid idea of switching them around.

And his vigilance paid off; he didn’t get caught beneath a mistletoe, not once.

But Merlin did. Which was worse.

-ll-

It was a week before Yule, and Arthur had packed his calendar with charity events. He had a meeting with Merlin to go over them all, but the endearing idiot was late as usual. Arthur knew Merlin never intended to be late, he just had a bad habit of always getting caught up in conversation with people or trying to help them out with whatever issue they were currently dealing with. It was one of the things Arthur loved about him.

Didn’t mean he wasn’t going to reprimand Merlin over it though. At least just for appearances' sake lest anyone discover Arthur’s inappropriate feelings.

He heard voices in the hallway outside his office which could only belong to Merlin and Gwen, so he opened the door and stuck his head out.

“Merlin,” he said with his best unimpressed tone.

“Excuse me,” Gwen said before giving Merlin an apologetic smile as she dashed off.

“Wasn’t our meeting at 11?” Arthur stated more than asked as he crossed his arms.

“Yes, I—” Merlin started.

“Isn’t it 11:05?”

“Probably, I can’t—”

“Then why are you out here when you should be in my office?”

“I’m stuck,” Merlin said helplessly, and looked like he wanted to flap his arms in apology, except he couldn’t because he was indeed stuck, Arthur confirmed, when he looked up to see the mistletoe hanging over Merlin’s head.

There was a brief moment where Arthur imagined himself taking the few steps between his office and Merlin, planting a solid kiss on Merlin’s lips, then sweeping him off his feet and carrying him away on a white horse. The first problem with that scenario, was of course, that Arthur didn’t own a white horse – his was a black stallion. The second and most pressing one was that Arthur’s kiss was not going to break the enchantment.

“Fine, we’ll reschedule,” Arthur said and practically fled back into his office before his expression could give anything away. Or he could do something stupid. Like kiss Merlin.

Although… this would be the perfect excuse to try and kiss Merlin, at least once. He could give the excuse that he was simply so tired of Merlin always being late that he kissed him out of frustration to get him unstuck. Except that was possibly the worst excuse in the history of excuses, and Merlin was definitely perceptive enough to see right through it.

Besides, Arthur was a better person than that. And Merlin was dating that one cleaner who was going to come kiss him and set him free and ride into the sunset with him so they could live happily ever after.

-ll-

When a suitable amount of time had passed for Merlin to have been kissed, ridden out into the sunset and then come back to do his job, Arthur stuck his head out of his office again.

Merlin was in the exact same place as before.

“Still stuck?” Arthur asked. “Or were you freed and then managed to get yourself stuck again? Because that would be just like you.”

“Still stuck the first time,” Merlin said. “I am not _that_ stupid despite what you may claim.”

“I don’t know about that. You still got stuck in the first place.”

“That was because I was hurrying to get to our meeting.”

“Because you were talking with Guinevere more likely.”

“It’s possible to walk and talk at the same time.”

“Clearly not, in your case.”

Merlin sputtered and was about to answer with yet another insolent retort when Arthur interrupted him. “Haven’t you kissed anyone yet? How about that cleaner of yours? Do you want me to send for him?”

“We ended things some time ago.”

“Ah, well… I am sorry.” Arthur felt wrong-footed. He was… happy, for a lack of a better word, that it wasn’t the cleaner, but that made no sense, because it still wasn’t Arthur.

“Don’t be. It was mutual,” Merlin said.

“Who should I send for, then?”

“No one. There’s no one.” The way Merlin said it, it sounded like there absolutely _was_ someone, but he didn’t want to say who it was.

“Can’t you… don’t you have magic too?” Arthur asked. “Can’t you use it to get yourself free?”

“I already tried that,” Merlin said. “It didn’t work.”

“Right. I should have expected nothing less from you. Guess I’ll have to make do without you until further notice.” Arthur said and retreated back into his office.

Once inside, he barely resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall, and only because he knew Merlin would be able to hear him. Why had he been so rude? This was the reason Merlin could never return his feelings. It wasn’t like Arthur could even fault him for not wanting to say who he was in love with as that would be a terrible case of hypocrisy. But he did wonder who it was and why Merlin didn’t want to say it. Perhaps it was someone who was already in a relationship? That would certainly be awkward.

Arthur sat down at his desk. Then he picked up his phone and dialled his sister. He might not be able to get Merlin out from under the mistletoe with his kiss, but perhaps he could help him by talking some sense into Morgana.

She picked up after the second ring.

“Hello, brother dearest,” she said cheerfully.

“Merlin’s trapped underneath your blasted mistletoe. I need you to come set him free,” he said without preamble.

“What makes you think I’d be able to set him free? I know for a fact that Merlin doesn’t date women.”

“Cut the crap. You and I both know you set the spell up in the first place. Ergo you can remove it again.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” she said.

“Look, Merlin’s been stuck for at least half an hour now. He and I had a meeting at 11 to go over my calendar—”

“You can read your own calendar, can’t you?”

“That’s not the point. The point is that he’s stuck, and he says he’s not in love with anyone.”

“Well, the spell only catches people who’re in love with someone so—”

“I _know_ that. But did you think, when you set it up, that perhaps there’s a reason why some people don’t want their crush out in the open?”

“People would be much happier if they just admitted who they are in love with instead of pining like a hopeless fool,” she said, and Arthur knew she was talking about him.

“And what if the person trapped is in love with someone who’s already in a relationship? Would having their feelings out in the open make them happy? Or what if they are in love with someone who’s not even into their gender?”

The silence on the other end told Arthur she indeed hadn’t thought of that. “Look,” she said when she finally spoke again. “I’m out of town right now, so I can’t lift the spell. In the meantime, why don’t you try kissing him? Perhaps a kiss from a handsome prince would set him free?”

“I might be a prince, but I’m also his boss and thus not exempt from causing a sexual harassment scandal.”

“You’re no fun. But fine, I’ll get Gwaine on the case.”

“You think Merlin’s in love with Gwaine?” Arthur said, horrified. Anyone would be better than Gwaine. Even the cleaner. Yes, Arthur was aware of the absurdity that he, a prince, should be jealous over a mere tour guide, but Gwaine did have fabulous hair and a charming personality that won everyone over.

“Probably not. But if anyone can weed out who it is, it’s him,” Morgana said and ended the call.

Arthur had to concede that. If anything, Gwaine could definitely annoy people into doing anything he wanted, or he could create a big enough ruckus that if Merlin was indeed in love with someone unreachable, it wouldn’t matter. It would all be played off as a joke.

-ll-

While Arthur couldn’t see what was going on as he chose to stay inside his office, he could hear when Gwaine came around and how his kiss didn’t set Merlin free. If that made him grin, well, nobody was around to see it. And anyway, it disappeared quickly when Gwaine announced he was going to round up all the men.

Well, that was certainly one way to go about it.

Deciding that there was nothing more for Arthur to do other than wait for Merlin to get unstuck, he turned on his computer in the hopes of getting some work done. Not that he actually had much work to do other than going through his calendar which he needed Merlin for, but he needed to do something to distract himself from the fact that his one true love was just outside the door, getting kissed by men that weren’t Arthur.

Needless to say, he didn’t get much done. Instead he couldn’t stop himself from listening to the excited voices gathering in the hallway, trying and failing to set Merlin free from the spell.

He didn’t know how much time passed – it seemed to stretch out into eternity – but eventually the ruckus got too loud and he stuck his head out of his office to remind people to quiet down.

“How long is this going to go on for? It’s very loud out here. Very distracting,” he said pointedly.

“Sorry,” Merlin started, looking extremely uncomfortable with the whole debacle, and Arthur could understand why. “I—”

“Have you kissed _all_ these people?” Arthur asked. There were at least two dozen men in the hallway who were all chatting amongst themselves trying to guess who would break the spell. And they were from all areas of the palace too; a tour guide, some from the kitchen staff, one of Morgana’s security guards, and one of Arthur’s own cousins who gave him a sheepish wave when he spied him.

“We’ve got to find his one true love,” Gwaine said, reappearing with some publicists. “Care to join the queue?”

Arthur did, in fact, want to join the queue so he had a valid excuse for kissing Merlin without causing a sexual harassment scandal, but he doubted he’d be able to hide how disappointed he’d be to have it confirmed that Merlin didn’t love him back.

And what if… what if Arthur’s kiss did break the spell? It wasn’t going to happen, of course, but if it _did_ it would be so terribly awkward in front of all these people to tell Merlin how much he loved him.

And anyway, he’d spare Merlin the embarrassment of having to kiss his boss, so instead he said, “I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself,” Gwaine answered and directed the publicists to form a line in front of Merlin so they could kiss him, one by one.

Arthur doubted he’d get any more work done as long as this was an ongoing spectacle, so he stepped out of his office, closing the door behind him. “Let’s see who it is, then,” he said, and busied himself with leaning against his office door so he wouldn’t have to see Merlin’s expression.

The publicists didn’t set Merlin free, and neither did the accountant Gwaine rounded up somewhere despite Merlin’s protests that he’d never even met the guy. After that came a roofer who was there to fix a leak, and then another one of Arthur’s cousins who winked at him before he placed a kiss on Merlin’s lips.

“Can we please stop?” Merlin asked when Gwaine started suggesting that people line up for a second kiss. “There’s no one here. I’m just… I’m just going to be stuck here. It’s… it’s fine. Really. I’ll figure something out.”

Gwaine snorted. “What exactly are you going to figure out?”

“I don’t know. Anything other than this.” He sounded so desolate and wretched and embarrassed that had Gwaine not seen sense and started to shoo people away, Arthur would have ordered him to.

Once everyone was gone except Gwaine and Arthur and, well, Merlin, Gwaine leaned in, whispering in an octave that wasn’t meant for Arthur’s ears but which he caught anyway. “Who is it?” Gwaine asked.

“No one,” Merlin’s hissed, then, when Gwaine didn’t seem appeased, added, “Honestly.”

Gwaine sighed, taking a step back as he shook his head. “I’ll figure this out for you, Merlin. Who haven’t we tried yet?”

“Have you thought about bringing in some of the tourists?” Merlin snarked.

Gwaine’s eyes lit up. “That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

“No,” Merlin protested, “it’s a very bad idea.”

“Not to worry.” Gwaine patted Merlin’s cheek like a fond grandma. “I’ll be back,” he said, giving Merlin a wink before heading off to find yet more people for Merlin to kiss.

Arthur watched Merlin watching Gwaine leaving. His shoulders were sagged in hopelessness and he looked like he needed a hug from someone who wasn’t Arthur.

“Having a good time?” Arthur asked, startling Merlin into looking at him properly for the first time since he stepped out of his office.

“Not exactly,” Merlin said. “Are you?”

“No.”

Merlin sighed, averting his eyes once again. “Look, I don’t know how long I’m going to be stuck here, but if you need help with your schedule, I’m sure Gwen—”

“I don’t want Gwen, I want _you_ ,” Arthur said, his voice low, and his words truer than Merlin could ever know. “But you’re very little use to me right now.” Aaaand there was Arthur’s rudeness again. Or prattishness, as Merlin called it behind his back and sometimes to his face.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said, sounding as miserable as he looked.

Arthur couldn’t help but wonder…

What if— No. It couldn’t be.

But what if it was?

Merlin had kissed the entire male castle staff, including several people who weren’t into men, and several that were in relationships. None of them had worked, so what if the reason why Merlin didn’t want to say who it was was because he thought his love was out of his reach?

“You know,” Arthur started, flushing as he psyched himself up for what he was going to do. “There’s still someone you haven’t kissed yet.”

“Not you, too,” Merlin groaned. “Gwaine’s already off digging up someone else—”

“Gwaine doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Merlin huffed. “I agree, but somehow I don’t think you’ll fare any better with whatever ideas you’re hatching. There’s no one—”

Before Merlin could finish his sentence, and before Arthur could talk himself out of it, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Merlin’s as he’d longed to do forever.

The kiss didn’t last long before Arthur broke away. “Well?” he said.

“I—” Merlin started, swallowing heavily as he took a step back, finally free of the mistletoe’s spell and refusing to meet Arthur’s eyes.

“It worked,” Arthur said.

Merlin stared at the floor; his cheeks redder than Arthur’s favourite shirt. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t want this. I just— I couldn’t— I really need this job, but if you give me a few weeks, I can try to find somewhere else—”

“You love me,” Arthur said, unable to keep the wonder out of his voice, nor to stop a delighted smile from taking over his face.

Merlin finally looked at him; his wide, blue eyes slowly filling with realisation. “I— Yes,” he said.

Arthur kissed him again. This time it was not just a simple chaste press of lips upon lips. This time he put more pressure into it, more feeling, and Merlin responded in kind. Although he drew away far too quickly for Arthur’s taste, so before Merlin could retreat too far, Arthur grabbed hold of his arms to keep him in place.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed and rested his forehead against Arthur’s, his eyes closed, a soft smile on his lips that Arthur simply had to kiss again.

“We are quite exposed here,” Arthur said. “Follow me.” He grabbed Merlin’s hand and pulled him inside the safe space of his office where they shared another kiss.

“I never thought you would...” Merlin started.

“I never thought _you_ would,” Arthur repeated softly. “I thought for sure one of those other men would break the spell. I thought you didn’t want to say who it was because they weren’t into men or already taken.”

“It was never anyone else.”

Arthur couldn’t help the boyish smile that spread over his lips. “I’m glad it was me. But why didn’t you just say so earlier? You could have avoided a terrible afternoon.”

“I thought you were so far out of my league, that you could never return my feelings. And I didn’t want a pity kiss.”

“Everyone loves you. None of your kisses today were out of pity. I’m sure some of them were even disappointed their kiss didn’t set you free.”

Merlin flushed, burying his face in Arthur’s neck. “I know.”

Arthur was about to answer when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. He huffed in annoyance and reluctantly left Merlin’s side to go open it, sticking out his head to come face to face with Gwaine who was in the company of another man, probably yet another suitor.

“What is it?” Arthur said and didn’t try to bother with hiding his impatience.

“Did someone come by?” Gwaine asked. “I’ve got one of the apprentices—”

Arthur opened the door a little wider, just enough for Gwaine to catch sight of Merlin.

“Oh,” Gwaine said after a long moment. “I see,” he continued, and his expression turned smug, laughter clear in his eyes. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Please do,” Arthur said as he shut the door in Gwaine’s face. He was a prince. He didn’t need to be polite, especially not with a tour guide who broke into laughter as soon as the door had clicked shut. “How long do you think it’ll take before everyone knows?” he said as he turned around to address Merlin.

“Don’t worry about missing my party, Merlin!” Gwaine called through the door.

Merlin laughed, giddy. “Ten minutes, give or take.”

“Splendid,” Arthur remarked drily.

“You don’t appear all that upset.”

“Nah.” Arthur made his way back to Merlin, pulling him into his arms. “My father will be terribly pleased. Morgana too. I bet they conspired against me.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Merlin said and drew Arthur in for a kiss. “I was upset at first, but now I can’t help but enjoy the outcome,” he whispered against Arthur’s lips.

Arthur grinned, bumping his nose with Merlin’s. “So… would you like to join me for dinner? Tonight?”

“How about a late lunch? I haven’t had anything since breakfast.”

“Lunch it is. And then dinner,” Arthur said and led Merlin out of the office, his face almost split in two and his heart beating itself out of his chest.

When he looked over, Merlin seemed to be in a similar predicament.

-The End-

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :D


End file.
